


Story Behind These Scars

by fandoms_mess_you_up



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Angst, Canon-ish, Fluff, Follows Story Line, I need to let my children rest, Looooots of angst, M/M, Pain, Soulmate AU, Stupid Boys, Trigger Warning: Cutting, Trigger Warning: depression, Yukio knows, both are so Oblivious™, but hmu if you wanna finish it for me, discontinued, he knows, how does one tag?, later on though, lots of bullying, maybe smut later???, more tags to be added as the story progresses, this is so weird, way later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:03:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8521273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandoms_mess_you_up/pseuds/fandoms_mess_you_up
Summary: Rin Okumura is okay. Really. The people don't bother him as much anymore. The new development of being linked to his soulmate isn't anything troublesome. Secrets about his own life are okay. He's fine.Ryuji "Bon" Suguro didn't take anyone's shit. His temple is NOT cursed. It is still plenty honorable. His soulmate was not making his life any easier, though. He just wanted a sign, damnit!-Soulmate AU where you feel any physical or emotional pain your soulmate does. If in close proximity, though, only the physical pain will be felt until you are separated from them again. One is unable to kill their soulmate by killing themselves, the soulmate will just be subconsciously notified if their soulmate is dead or dying.-So I suck dick and can't find it in myself to finish this so it's discontinued. User IsaacFantumn will be continuing so hit them up.





	1. Life, Disrupted

**Author's Note:**

> Hullo! In this AU, most of the canon events will happen, but they might not be in the same order or have the same result. It is also mainly based off of the manga, but there will be pieces of the anime floating around in here. This is pretty much my compilation of 'what's ifs' with an added soulmate spin. Thanks for reading!

Rin Okumura, a demon child. At least, that was what he was always told. When you're put down as much he was, you start to give in and believe those words. You learn to stop fighting the rumors, and eventually you learn to start acting as if they were true.

That's how Rin Okumura found himself being slammed into a fence by some pasty dude who desperately needed a bar of soap. "Wow, Reiji, I just realized how great dog shit smells compared to you." Oops. He probably shouldn't have said that. To hell with them all, though, he knew his life was probably going to end up being cut short, why not speed the inevitable along? Maybe he'll get lucky and this dude'll pull a knife on him, gut him clean and quick, and finally put him out of his misery.

After being slammed into the fence once more, Rin realized his fantasies were all for naught. "Listen here and listen well, ya demon. I'm gonna be the one to knock some sense into ya, and then my buddies'll come along and finish of the job. Feeling so cocky now, ya damn freak?"

Despite all reason, he allowed for a low chuckle to rumble throughout his body. "Actually, now I really am sure of myself now. After all, this just means you're too weak to do so yourself." With those words, the raven's knee flew up to Reiji's soprano spot, and rammed his elbow into his cheek when the other went to shield his dick. "Now why don't you go and tell your buddies that this freak doesn't have time to deal with amateurs such as yourself." After another brief, but very much painful, punch, the young male turned and headed home.

-

Ryuji "Bon" Suguro, child of the cursed temple. He refused to believe those words, he was determined to bring his temple back to its former glory. That's why he wanted to be an exorcist. As far as he was concerned, you ignore the hateful words, and fight to be better than those who produce such words. Once you do that, it's only natural you are seen as a star child by many others, even if they do still believe you are unfortunate because of your heritage.

Ryuji was walking down the streets of Kyoto, being trailed by his childhood friends, Renzou Shima and Nemu Konekomura. The two boys behind him were chatting cheerfully, and Ryuji didn't even need to tune in to know what the discussion was about. Soulmates. It's said when you enter the next stage of your life after junior high, you start to feel the pain your soulmate endures. Everyone else has seemed genuinely excited about it since they were children, but the bicolored haired teen just didn't get what was so awesome about it all. Really, what was so great about experiencing someone else's pain along with your own?

"Yo, Bon! So, we technically entered our next stage of life. When do you think it will come? I hope it's soon! I can't wait to meet the hot babe that is destined to be mine!" The rosette went on blabbering, while Konekomura tried to tone it down some.

"Shima, stop! You know how much Bon hates this soulmate talk!" The bald and bespectacled teen turned towards aforementioned teen, apologizing for Shima's behavior.

Ryuji let out a disgruntled sigh at the two's foolish behavior. He wasn't ready to admit, though, that he was also interested in when the effects would kick in. "No, it's fine. The pervert can't help but be all ogling, even if he is a monk." At the last bit of his statement, the elder shot a withering glare towards Shima, who, in turn, began to slink back slightly.

They continued their walk, although in silence now, when Ryuji stopped abruptly. He dropped everything and began clawing desperately at his head. What the hell was happening to him?

He sat down, and while Shima and Konekomura tried to get him to talk about what was happening, he heard another voice. What it said chilled him to his bones. _A worthless fuckin' demon_. He was staring blankly at the ground, trying to process what was happening, when a blinding pain shot up his arm. He desperately grabbed at his arm, and saw scars being made. That's when it all clicked for him. "Oh, shit…" was all he managed to get out.

He fell into an inky black darkness, only hearing those words in his head and his friends desperately calling his name.


	2. Pain

Yukio began climbing up the stairs, hoping to catch his brother before he fell asleep. "Hey, Nii-san, are you still awake? I was hoping to talk to you for a little bit."

Rin was, in fact, asleep in bed, so Yukio decided not to intrude on him. Thank goodness for that, too, or else he would've seen the dried tears and blood staining his face and bed. His brother already worried for his schoolwork and temper, no need to add his physical and mental health to that list.

Yukio let out a quiet sigh, wishing for his brother to be there to listen. It would be fine, though. He could very much wait until morning, if it meant his Nii-san was happy and healthy. He wished his brother a good night, and went to his own room for the night.

-

"…n! Bon! Are you okay, Bon!"

Ryuji slowly opened his eyes, confused by all the yelling. "What're y'all yelling for, damnit? Shit, my head hurts…" He began to kneed at his head, but a line of pink on his arm caught his eye. His breathing slowly became more ragged as he looked upon the dozens of lines marring his tan skin. Where the hell did these come from?

"Bon! Thank goodness you're awake! What happened? Why do you have all those scars? I thought you said the other people's words didn't bother you? You should have talked to us!" Shima was bouncing between being relieved and being worried, hugging him and then pushing him away, only to go back in for another hug.

Ryuji kept rubbing at the marks, remembering the words in his head right before the scars appeared. He began to mutter to himself, barely loud enough for the others in the room to hear. "It's not me, it's them. What is happening to them?"

"Whoa, Bon, slow down. What are you talking about? Who's them? Were you ambushed or something?" Konekomura peered on with earnest concern, worrying for his childhood friend.

Bon looked at them with a solemn expression, dreading the next words to come out of his mouth. "Them, as in, my soulmate. I need to find them."

The others around him just stood, jaws slack, not knowing whether to feel happy or jealous or what. They decided against saying anything when they saw small tears gather in the corners of his eyes. The poor guy probably didn't even realize they were there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is another short one. I promise, they really do get longer at some point. I think I'm going to update biweekly, because that gives me time to write and doesn't make y'all wait too long. Let me know what you think about that.
> 
> My birthday has recently passed (November 14) and I have been actively expressing interest (read: yelling at the top of my lungs) to my parents that I would like a drawing tablet, and I still haven't received a gift yet, so I'm hoping. If I do get the tablet, I will possibly start adding art to this, so keep that in mind!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has written comments, gave kudos, and read the story in general, I'm so glad you all like it. On an even better note, someone inadvertently pointed out a way for me to continue chapter 10, so it is once again being written!! 
> 
> Until two weeks, my memeful dudes.


	3. The Need to Find

"Are you sure about this, Bon?" Shima asked, his usual easy-going aura gone.

Ryuji stopped his packing for a moment, turning to see his friends watching him through his bedroom door. "I'm not sure how to feel about this whole soulmate thing, but there is one thing I definitely know. As messed up as it is, I'm being given the chance to likely save someone's life, and I very much intend to do just that. I'm telling you, you can either pack up and come with me, or you can stay here and wait for me to return victorious. I won't tell you guys which one to choose, but just know that if you were to join me, it would make this whole trip that much easier. I leave in three days. You have until then to decide." He began to walk towards the door unsteadily, and gently closed it, leaving the worried duo outside.

Konekomura nervously began twiddling his thumbs. What about Bon's lifelong dream of becoming an exorcist? The trio had all just gotten their scholarships, so was he just expecting them to drop it all and go on this new adventure, which was risky at best? So many questions raced through the small boy's head, but only one had an answer he was sure of. They _would_ go with him.

Shima turned to his friend, alarmingly deep in thought. After a long, intimidating silence, the rosette finally spoke up, "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm with Bon until the end!"

Konekomura could only nod in agreement, still considering the likelihood of them actually managing to find him. This is gonna be a long year, the bald teenager thought miserably.

-

"Wha happened…" Rin groaned as he woke up, more than confused. The last thing he remembered was relieving his pain in the only way he knew to be acceptable, and now all of a sudden he was waking up. A quick glance at the clock near him had his mouth hanging. He was up this early?! He tried to remember something, anything, that would explain what was going on. He was sure he must've had to have passed out, but his actions had never elicited this reaction before.

He reached up to rub his head, and he felt a swollen knot. He wrote it off as from a fight or something else, but, then again, wouldn't he have noticed it sooner rather than later? Tentative hands made their way back to the bump, but this time, upon touching it, he felt confusion, and slight anger. The raven frowned, knowing these weren't his own emotions. He began absentmindedly rubbing at his scarring wrists, trying to deduct what was causing all of these strange things. That's when he felt frustration and desperation. Knowing it to be a clue, he desperately held onto those feelings, willing them to reveal themselves to the slim teenager.

'… _Damnit_ … _I gotta find 'em_ _before it's too late_ …'

What the hell? What was this random voice saying? Who were they? Rin let out a defeated groan, knowing what he was going to have to do. He was going to have to go and confront his father. After all, he WAS just an overly praised therapist. Rin began his trek down the hall, searching for the old man.

-

After Rin's explanation of what was happening to him, Shiro Fujimoto could only laugh. "What's so funny, you old fart?! What's wrong with me? Shouldn't you know these kinds of things?" He was starting to get really frustrated with his old man. He just wanted to know what was going on with him! Is that too much to ask for?

After a few more wheezes (age is a cruel thing), Shiro smiled towards his rambunctious son, enjoying watching the poor boy's befuddlement. "Hehe, just a second, my boy. Oi, Yukio! Come in here for a minute!"

Rin groaned and rolled his eyes, not amused in the least bit, especially now that his bemusement (?) was to be used as a new joke. "Yes, Father?" Another boy walked in, taller than the raven, wearing glasses, and in general looking nothing like his older twin brother. Yukio Okumura was the accomplished child every parent wished they could have; he was top of his class, excellent at sports, an every day ladies man, and respectful to his elders. In other words, he was the complete opposite of his sloth of a twin. Whoever said twins were a pair of peas in the pod were clearly off of their rocker.

"Okay, listen. Rin, explain your "problem" again." The silver-haired man attempted to hold in the laughter bubbling in his chest, but found he couldn't, guffawing loud enough to wake any one nearby who might've been sleeping.

Rin shot his adoptive father a glare, and proceeded to explain, yet again. To say the raven was annoyed would've been a drastic understatement. When he finished, he looked towards Yukio with hope in his steel blue eyes, obviously hoping his maturity would prove some good for once. His eyes must've betrayed him, because surely his calm, cool, collected, stick-up-his-ass brother could not be letting a knowing smile grace his lips. "What?! You too?! I'm starting to think there's more wrong with you than there is me!"

Yukio let out a quiet snicker, all to save some face, unlike his questionably respected father. "Oh, Nii-san. I had so much faith you would be able to figure this out all on your own." Yukio turned towards his red-faced father, who gave him a nod to tell him what was happening. "Rin, you've been connected to your soulmate. You've been matched."

All the poor, lanky boy could do was stare in disbelief at the words just uttered by his younger brother. He puffed out a brusque laugh, devoid of any mirth, before giving him and his father a stoney glare. "Are you joking? Because this sure is a pretty shitty joke, ya know. There's no way I could have a soulmate. I mean, I may was well be devil spawn with how people skirt around me every time I'm seen. Who could ever even think about loving me? Now, answer my question, for REAL this time. What's wrong with me?"

Yukio's silent chuckles came to an abrupt stop when he heard his brother's desperate and heartbroken words. IS THIS REALLY WHAT NII-SAN THOUGHT ABOUT HIMSELF? "Rin, we aren't joking. It's time you man up and accept that you've got someone out there for you. Quit being a baby, and go find them." Both boys turned to face their father, who somehow managed to have a serious expression while maintaining an easygoing tone of voice.

"What are you blabbering about, you old fart? You know the truth as much as I do. Everything those people say about me is true! I'm a damn demon. A worthless one at that; what kind of demon can't help but sparing anything he can, eh? The fact that you just joke about all of this pisses me off, ya know. The truth hurts enough without adding ruthless humor to the equation. I'm going to bed," the raven grumbled, drowning in his own distress. He turned to walk to his bedroom. It was so unfair, damnit! Why did this all have to happen to him? All he ever wanted to do was protect his family and have friends. There was a time when he even genuinely tried in school. So why did he have to be the one cursed with all of this misfortune?  
It was so unfair.

-

Ryuji lay in bed, worrying for his soulmate. He had heard all of the thoughts during what seemed to be an argument between them and their father. Did he really think that about himself? Did he really think he was a demon? Did he really think he wasn't worthy of a soulmate or love? Did he really give up? Bon turned to his side, hopeful thoughts (his own, clearly), flicking into his head. He would find them. He would hold them, and he would do anything he could to make them feel better. He would prove to them that they are no demon, and that they are worthy of love, and he would never let them give up ever again. Two things lay on the bicolored haired teen's mind as he drifted into sleep. One, relief that his soulmate had at least not began cutting himself again that night. Two, a new found promise.

_I will find you, so please hang in there.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, my memeful dudes. I'm back with chapter 3, and I think it's longer than previous chapters so yay celebration. Thank you for all the comments and inspiration, it has been such a help! 
> 
> It will be another 2 weeks before the next chapter, if that. I recently got a D in English (you forget to add a motif to ONE PAPER) and so my dad has officially banned me from writing until I bring my grades up (seriously, one D, that I brought up already). Hopefully it all gets better before chapter 4 comes out so I can keep writing and posting at decent intervals.


	4. Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what the chapter title says. Buckle up, kiddies, we're going for a ride!

"It ain't my fault! This monkey thing really _was_ makin' fun of her!" Rin was beyond exasperated. First, this weird monkey came and picked on this girl, and after he had so graciously helped her, he was fired for wrecking the store. Gee, next time maybe he'll just leave a person to be victimized! After that, he came home to find the girl, Yui, and her father there to thank him. No, that wasn't the bad part. The rotten thing was that he didn't believe him or Yui, and they had both seen it with their own eyes! Finally, after they had left, the old man sent him to bed without sukiyaki! Now he was upstairs, listening to the others enjoy themselves and talking about the oh so great Yukio and his scholarship to True Cross Academy. He had the rottenest luck in the world, didn't he?

He decided to give into his beast-like desire; he knew it was no good, but he very much couldn't put his problems on anyone else. Now, don't misunderstand the situation; the raven absolutely hates what he does to himself, but he has no one else. It might've been different if he had someone, but he didn't. He was alone.

Rin walked over to an old, discarded text book, and leafed through its torn pages, looking for the silver relief. Eventually he found it, and pressed its sharp edge to his skin. Seeing the bead of blood that rose forth, he breathed in the calm that came from it. Finding his courage, sooner than the previous times, may I add, he moved his hand to the left. He found if you lacerated horizontally rather than vertically, the fatality risk becomes drastically smaller. _Stupid old man, stupid Yukio, stupid True Cross Academy, stupid me, stupid stupid stupid me_. As he sliced, he tried blinking away tears, but soon enough the droplets of salt water became relentless. After a fair amount of lines, he put the blade back in its previous spot. Rin took his place on his bed, watching the rivers of red dance towards and away from each other, seeing the crimson dot his black bedsheets, and feeling the salty water run down his cheeks, before he turned face first into his pillow, hoping to find the second best relief: sleep.

-

"Ah, shit! What the hell does this idiot think they're doing!" Ryuji was in his bedroom, gripping his scarring wrists. He was hearing every thought, and he hated it. He hated all of it. He hated that he could hear it, he could feel it, that he was being affected by it. He hated having a soulmate. What he hated the most, though, was how _useless_ he was to them. He hated knowing how much they were hurting, and not being able to comfort them. He hated that they thought they were alone, and that he couldn't find them, hug them, and tell them that they aren't.

After the idiot had finally fallen asleep, the bicolored haired teen began to start putting things together. All he had managed to get so far was that he has terrible self-esteem, a father he has little to no respect for (really, who calls their father "old fart?"), and a twin brother the complete opposite of him. Wait. His brother. His brother was supposed to be going to some school. _Think, Ryuji, think_.

 _True Cross Academy_. The buff teenager's eyes widened. The same school he and his friends were going to. Well, at least he had a back up plan. If he couldn't find them on his own, he could look for their brother at school. What was his name again? That was something he would have to listen for.

Ryuji threw his head back in ecstasy. He finally, finally, had a lead. Maybe he would find his soulmate sooner than later. That was definitely something to look forward to.

-

"Hey, Okumura, you got a second?" Rin turned to face the voice speaking behind him. Yesterday, some kid had been shooting the pigeons at the park yesterday, and Rin had ruthlessly beat him to teach him a lesson. Now the asshole with snow hair was standing in front of him with his ugly friends, requesting Rin's attention.

He scowled, rolling his eyes. "What do you need, asshole? I ain't got the time to deal with you." It wasn't that he didn't have the time, more as he didn't have the courage to disobey the old fart after being grounded.

The boy, Reiji, if Rin was correct, raised an eyebrow and let loose a smirk. "What, are you too chicken?" Damn the jerk, he knew that would get to him.

The raven scowled, stepping out of the fence of the monastery, cautiously, lest the old geezer were to come out and see him. "All right, now what the hell do you want?"

Reiji smirked, knowing he was the winner here now. "So here's the deal. My parents are some pretty important people, and I'm heading off to True Cross Academy in a few days. As you could imagine, I can't exactly have any talk going around about me, you dig? So how much?"

Rin found himself nodding along to the boy, understanding what could be a compromising situation, then contorted his face into one of shock and confusion. This BUFFOON was going to the same prestigious high school as his brother? Wait a second… "What do you mean?"

The delinquent laughed. "How much money do you want? I need this to stay hushed up."

The raven snarled at the idea of even touching something the snow haired teen had. "Keep your hush money. My lips are sealed."

This, apparently, would not do for Reiji. "Fine, here." He held out a 10,000 yen bill.

"I said I don't want it." Rin curled his fists, feeling a fight coming on.

"Will you just take it already? We all know that your brother got in by studying nonstop and having no life, earning himself a scholarship. Your family's piss poor, so take this to help pay of the nerd's school debts."

That was the worst thing that idiot could have ever said. No one, _no one_ , bad mouthed his brother unless they were looking for the quickest way to find themselves in hell and then back as if nothing had ever happened. "You absolute asshole," Rin sneered. "Say whatever you want about me, but _never_ so much as _think_ a bad thing about my brother!" Rin jumped forward and threw a left hook at the other boy, still bruised and healing from yesterday's brawl. With that in mind, the lanky boy held back most of his raw strength, expecting that to be enough. He did not, however, anticipate his fist being caught and being shoved to the ground. That;s when he realized Reiji had grown a pair horns and a tail in a matter of seconds. "Wh-what the hell are you?!" Rin tried to squirm his way out, but the teen's goons all but nailed him to the ground.

Reiji stood up, and took his sweet time walking around the pinned raven. "Well, boys, how should we do this?" His eye caught a silver rod sticking out of the ground, ends sharper than knives. "Let's see. You _did_ mess up my face pretty bad, and I do believe the saying is 'an eye for an eye.' So why don't we take out one of those pretty blue peepers." He let out a cruel laugh, enjoying every moment of this.

One of the goons fidgeted nervously above Rin. "Uh, Mr. Shiratori, is it really smart to be doing this? You don't want to get in no trouble or nothing." The other two nodded along fiercely.

Ignoring them, he moved closer to the boy on the ground, filling him with panic and fear. "I hope you're ready to pay, Okumura." He began to lower it closer and closer to his eye. A foot. Six inches. Five. Three.

"Boss, I don't want nothing to do with this!"

Two. Only one inch away.

Rin felt himself become warm and… filled… and then he _screamed._ Screamed as if someone had just killed him. No, he doesn't think he would scream for his own death. He screamed like someone had just hurt Yukio. He screamed and screamed and screamed, feeling that weird feeling fill him and be placed under immense pressure. He shook his head frantically, and right before the weapon touched his eyes, _whoosh_.

Rin closed his eyes, and he heard screams surround him. The three guys on top of him fled in fear, of what, Rin didn't know. He kept them screwed tight the whole time, even when he heard a demon-like chuckle. "I knew I had found the right guy. My Prince, it's time for you to return home."

Rin's eyes flew open in confusion, and what he saw didn't help in the least bit. Reiji was now sporting what looked to him likr ram horns, a long, thin tail, incredibly sharp canines and claws, and red-tinged eyes. Rin also saw flames; blue ones, surrounding and covering him, Reiji, and all the junk laying in the alley. "Wh-what the hell are you talking about? Dude, you're seriously creeping me out here." Rin wasn't focused so much on the odd-looking teenager anymore; he was too distracted wondering how the blue fire didn't seem to burn him, and why it had just disappeared so suddenly.

His attention was drawn back towards Reiji, automatically jumping into a defensive position when he saw him step towards him. "My name is Astaroth, and I am here to return you to Lord Satan."

Rin's guard dropped. "S-Satan?" What was this freak even talking about? Oh, man, what the hell is he supposed to do when he's under attack by a psychopath?

"…Evil dwells within this heart. Oh, Lord, let each be judged according to his deeds. Let sinful conduct beget retribution. Let each pay for that which he had taken, bring down thy justice upon them," a new voice boomed through the air, nowhere to be seen.

"W-" Rin began, but was quickly cut off by a scream worthy of an insane person.

"Y-You…?!" Reiji moved himself so he could see the black-clad figure stalking surely behind Rin.

"Smite them that they shall never rise again," the masculine voice continued.

"An… an exorcist!" The snow top cried out.

It was then that Rin realized he should probably turn around and see who his savior was. What the raven saw made his jaw drop in a mix of surprise, fear, and awe. Shiro Fujimoto stood there in all his glory, smiling a rather odd smile at the horned teenager. "Blessed by the Lord!"

Reacting to the words in a strange manor, Reiji tears away from Rin, sprinting full force at the priest. "I'll tear that mouth of your face, accursed priest!"

Rin was once again put in awe at how calm his father has been this whole time. "My prayer has been answered," he monotones as he dodges the Reiji's punch. "The Lord is my helper, and he is my shield." He grabbed the fighting boy's hand and flipped him over. Sneering, he began speaking in a frightening tone, "Demon, perish where you stand!!" The snow haired teenager began screaming in horrible pain, and Rin didn't know what to think of any of this. That boy had just had horns, then his dad came saying a bunch of random words, and next thing he knew, aforementioned boy was lying on the ground, out cold for the count. He hadn't seen the old man lay a finger on him after flipping him over, in self-defense, by the way. He was about to ask what the hell had just happened, but was interrupted. Again. "Have you calmed down?" All Rin could do was stare at the mystery man before him. After all, apparently the raven knew little to nothing about the real Shiro. "It would appear that your power can no longer be suppressed entirely by Kurikara."

The small teenager couldn't think of anything to say, at least, not until he saw a very badly hurt, but otherwise normal looking, Reiji on the ground. "Is… is that guy all right?!"

The old man walked over to the sleeping boy, and began examining his head and face. "He's fine. I have exercised the demon from him. It appears he had only recently been possessed. However, demons tend to possess those most similar to themselves. If this boy does not change, then he may be possessed once more."

Rin just continued to stare. Really, what else was he supposed to do? Laugh and joke around like normal? Well, this wasn't fucking normal, not in the least bit. He'd almost been _killed_. "D-demons? W-What the hell is going on, old man?!"

"You are only seeing half of the world, Rin. There are two pieces of our world, Assia, and Gehenna, and they reflect each other like a mirror. Assia, here, is home to us and all that most humans know about. Gehenna, on the other hand, is home to demons, all reaching for a glorious opportunity to join us here in Assia. The boundary between our two different worlds is too thick, though, for demons to pass through in their true forms. That's where demonic possession comes into play. If a demon can find a suitable host, it may transfer its soul into said host, giving it a home in Assia. These little buggers floating around are Coal Tars. They possess ash and dust."

Rin jumper back as one flew past his face. No way could those be demons; they were too small and cute! Rin managed to snag one of the millions of questions running in his head, and it was one that the raven was determined to have answered. "What does all of this have to do with me?" He crossed his arms in a way that said, "I won't move or do anything else until I get the truth from you."

The old man sighed, dreading the next words he would have to say. "You are the son of a demon. Not just any demon, though, the worst demon of them all. You are the son of Satan himself." Rin stared at the old man, thoughts colliding, rolling, burning, flying, sinking, everything but making sense. He barely heard what Shiro said next. "Rin, we have to run." His feet started moving.

-

This was by far one of the weirdest dreams Ryuji has ever had. He was seeing everything from someone else's point of view, and if that wasn't terrifying enough, everything that happened certainly made it. He had followed these guys outside and got into a fight and one grew horns and then blue flames came from everywhere and it was just plain weird. Finally someone came and exercised the obviously possessed teenager, but Ryuji woke up after the exorcism was complete. He didn't need these strange nightmares wrecking his sleep. He sat up and jumped out of bed when he saw the time. Holy shit, did he sleep in! Just then, Shima and Konekomura came and knocked on his door. "Come in!" The rosette opened the door, and the bicolored haired teenager collapsed on the floor. The duo ran to him, and once they lifted his face, they saw horrible, horrible tears running free. He gripped his head, shaking it, saying "Stop!" over and over. This onslaught of emotions, where the hell did it come from? His soulmate was fine just a second ago, just the usual minuscule buzz in the back of his head. Ryuji tried to stand, but found he couldn't. He grit his teeth angrily. How the hell am I supposed to find you now?!

-

_How the fuck is it I always manage to get myself in these messes?_

That was all that Rin could think, foxllowing Shiro Fujimoto, the father he apparently knows nothing about. Then again, apparently he knew almost nothing about himself, either. He's the son of Satan? Well, that certainly means all the people were right to call him a demon child. He really was one now, wasn't he? These thoughts slowly faded to black, as he began thinking about the old man chanting in front of him. So, he really was an exorcist who dispels demons from everyday people's lives, huh? Just another thing Rin had been wrong about all this time.

The old man stopped abruptly, nearly knocking Rin off the rooftop bridge they were crossing. On the roof sat dozens of dogs, but the grossest, smelliest ones he had ever seen. "Aww, gross, what are these?"

"Ghouls, lower kin of the demon king of rot, Astaroth. We're lucky we live in Japan; anywhere else and we would be attacked by human ghouls." Rin stared at the old man, wondering how in hell they were lucky. That's when he saw him pull out a hand grenade.

"Wait! You can't throw a grenade!" Rin stated, slightly worrying because he knew he would be blamed for any destruction.

"Don't worry, it's just a holy water grenade."

Rin watched him pull out the safety pin and chuck it. "Holy water grenade?" When it exploded, a mist settled around the area, but it caused all the surrounding demons to collapse.

"Come now, we have to get back to the monastery before night falls." Father Fujimoto grabbed the half-demon's hand, dragging him to the roof stairs.

"Why before night?" The raven was getting frustrated with not knowing _anything_ , and for the old fart acting like he did.

The gray-haired man turned to face his son. "That's when the demons are strongest, my son." Rin let himself be dragged along, and was left even more baffled when he saw all of the priests waiting to greet the two. "Have you strengthened the anti-demon wards?"

All of the priests followed them, as one answered him. "Yes, Father, we doubled it."

"Well, triple the doubles. This is going to be a long night. Every demon will be attacking tonight."

"Yes, sir." They all ran off, doing as they were told.

"Follow me," were all the words uttered to Rin. He just followed to the back of the room, where Fujimoto unlocked a drawer, but then pushed the whole stand, revealing a hollowed out space with a single chest. He opened it, revealing a Japanese sword, lighting up with blue sparks at random. Before the raven could ask what it was, the priest began to speak. "The Kurikara, sometimes known as the Koma sword. Fifteen years ago, I sealed your demonic powers within it. You must keep this by your side at all times, sleep with it, even, but, no matter what, do not let it get in the wrong hands, and do not open it. If you open it, your powers will be unleashed, and you will never be able to return to your human life. Do you understand?" He handed Rin the sword, and began to walk towards the door.

The half-demon finally came to his senses, and quickly called out, "Wait!" The old man turned to face him. "Where are you going? What about Yukio? Don't tell me he's not human, either…"

"You're brother was weak and underdeveloped in the wound, unable to hold the power of Satan. Therefore, you are the only one with his power. You are to stay here until morning comes." He ran up the stairs, locking the raven inside.

"Damnit, old man! I want to help! Let me out of here!" He was banging on the door, wanting more answers to his millions of questions. All he heard above him was loud crashes, shouts, and cries. Adrenaline shot through Rin, and the next hit shattered the wood above him, freeing him. The old fart turned towards him, startled expression glued into his face. "We're not done talking, old fart. I need more answers."

The old man slowly shook his head in a melancholic way. "My son, why do you throw caution to the wind." Shiro handed the now befuddled boy a cellphone and looked him dead in the eyes. "Listen, and follow every word I say. You need to run, run as far and as fast from here as you can. When you're safe, use my phone to call my close friend. His number is the only one saved into my phone. Now, please, hurry."

He turned his back on his son, yet again. "I understand," Rin began, hurt leaking through his voice. "I understand that you're tired of putting up with a delinquent like me. I understand that you don't have the patience to care anymore. Well, fine! Just don't ever let me see you acting like my father _ever again_!"

A loud, sharp sound rang through the air, and it took the raven a moment to process that it was the sound of a slap delivered to him by his father. "Go get your stuff."

The half-demon nodded, and mutely began to shuffle away. All Shiro could do was stare at his hand, the very hand that had struck his son for the first time in fifteen years. That's when tragedy truly struck.

He began choking, bringing Rin to a stop. When he looked up again, the raven was no longer sure if that was the old fart or not. Blue flames flared up all around him, a long black tale and stretched ears now became a part of his features, and he was bleeding from his nose, fanged mouth, and scarlet red eyes. "Gyahahahahahaha! Finally, after all this time!" The person once known as Father Shiro Fujimoto turned to face the raven. "My son, it's time to go home!"

As articulate as ever, the half-demon answered. "Wh-what the hell are you talking about?! Who the hell are you?!"

Another disgusting laugh escaped the old man's lips. "I am Satan, but you can call me Papa!" He laughed, yet again, more mirthlessly this time around, though.

The half-demon's blood boiled. Before he knew it, he was covered in those blue flames again. "You aren't my father!"

Damn, this guy must be really cheerful, as he let out the same beastly laugh as before. "What was that, a temper tantrum? Hurry up and just unlock your powers already!" He walked over, surprise, surprise, laughing, to his son, picked him up by the back of his neck collar, and threw him into a gross, bubbly area that the boy had failed to notice. The Koma sword landed on the other side of him. Before Satan could join him in the Gehenna gate, though, Rin noticed something happening. His face began twitching, and his gruesomely happy expression had fallen. "N-no. It can't be!"

Tears formed in the teenager's eyes as he heard the next words. "Let go of my son, demon!" It was the old man's voice! He was still there!

His celebration was cut short, though, when he saw his father's hands reach up for the pendant that he always had. He grasped it, pointing the needle-point end at his heart. As he shoved downwards, Rin and Satan both cried out, one in sadness and the other in anger. "D-damn you, exorcist! At least I will still have my prize. Once the Gehenna gate has something in its jaws, it never lets it go!" With those last few words, Satan vanished, and Father Fujimoto fell face first into whatever gunk this gate was made of.

Both he and the raven began sinking deeper into its claws, and Rin desperately grasped at the Kurikara. _The Kurikara_. He gripped both the case and the handle, prepared to open the demon blade. "Wait, Rin, have you already forgotten what Father had told you?!" A priest shouted at him.

Rin ignored him, and the sword was unsheathed. Blue flames flocked up from everywhere, giving him what looked like flaming horns and tail. He gave the weapon a test swing. The half-demon held the it above the top of the gate, and, with a powerful swing, he managed to dissipate the Gehenna gate.

He quickly sheathed the power-filled sword, hoping to save some of his humanity. Upon looking at his normal, human hands, Rin nearly let out a cry of relief. That feeling was short lived, though, when he saw his father lying on the ground. He tried to crawl over quickly, but barely made it to the old man. The raven put his ear to Shiro's chest, and finally, _finally_ , let his tears fall.

"I'm sorry, father."

-

Ryuji was still feeling absolutely horrible, but today was supposed to be the day he went on his search for them. He couldn't sit in bed crying because it hurt, when they are out there clearly hurting much worse than he could be. That's why when the bicolored haired teenager stepped out of his room, everyone was keeping a close eye on him. He couldn't stay here any longer; he didn't know how, but he knew it was about to get a lot worse in a second. This journey was simply not meant to be, it seemed. Ryuji took a step outside, and he was hit once again by the pain. He broke down into a sobbing mess, but it didn't even last long; he soon fell unconscious.

-

Rin stood in front of the gravestone that marked where his father, Father Shiro Fujimoto, lay. Why? Why did he have to be so cruel? Why did he have to be such a… a… a demon? The raven knew he was crying, but did nothing to wipe away his tears.

_When you're safe, use my phone to call my close friend. His number is the only one saved into my phone._

The half-demon slowly pulled out the sleek, black cellphone, and called the only number there. Suddenly, a loud, obnoxious ringtone began chiming through the air. _He's here?_ Rin thought.

Someone stepped forward as his call was answered. "My, my, what do we have here?" The man belonging to the voice closed his phone, hanging up. When the raven saw the man, he was not expecting… a _clown_! That was the only way to describe how he was dressed. "My name is Sir Mephisto Pheles of the Japanese branch of the Knights of the True Cross. And you are to die today!"

Rin felt himself go numb. He's going to _die_? "What? No way! The old man told me you'd help me!"

A predatory smile inched it's way onto the purple-haired man. "Why, I was, until you broke your end of the deal by unleashing your powers. Now, I offer you two choices. One, you could come along peacefully and allow yourself to be killed. Two, you can kill me and everyone else here and try to run. Oh, forgive me, I have forgotten that there is a third option for you. You _could_ commit suicide right now. Well? Choose! Three options, laid out just for you!"

The raven grit his teeth, and shook his head. "No. I'm going to be an exorcist, just like the old man!"

The strangely-dressed man stared at him blankly, before asking a question. "Why would the spawn of Satan want to be an exorcist?"

"Because! I'm gonna beat the shit out of Satan!"

A stunned silence filled the air, until a light laugh came. It slowly turned into something more demonic, and Sir Mephisto slowly breathed to calm himself down. "All right, I'll humor your request. From this day on, you shall begin your training as an exorcist! Be warned, though, the path you have chosen is neither light nor easy. Great hardships await you down the road."

-

When Rin returned home, the first thing he saw was a picture of him and the old man. It was the day after Rin had broken his dad's ribs. He took the frame off the wall and carried it to his room, where he laid down and cried himself to sleep.

-

Shima, Konekomura, and Mrs. Suguro sat outside Ryuji's door, waiting for him to need something. Mrs. Suguro had even started crying at some point, but no one could tell you when, exactly. After finally getting her baby boy to the dinner table, he promptly screamed in physical and emotional pain, sobbing, yelling at no one in particular. He shot up out of his seat and ran to his room without assistance, and locked the door right away. Listening, you could still hear his muffled sobs, and the occasional vomit. She knew she couldn't blame his soulmate; after all, if Ryuji is only getting a fraction of the pain, imagine what they are feeling right now. She just wanted her baby to feel better. She didn't want him to be sick with whatever feelings were running through another person's head. She wanted him to get up, be his old grumpy self, and go find this person. She wanted him to save his other half, not fall victim to their feelings. Mrs. Suguro sighed. If we all got what we wanted, she knew Ryuji would have them in his arms right now, and they would both be okay. The world is not a wish-granting factory, it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. I hope you liked the new chapter, and that it was worth the wait. 
> 
> I have something important to tell you all. I might end up going on a temporary hiatus. 
> 
> I know, it really sucks, but it's something I might have to do. Not only have my grades been dropping, but my sister has recently got in a car accident, and I really need to help out more because of this. It isn't decided yet, but if you don't see chapter 5 up in a week, that means I won't be back for a while. I'm really sorry about the inconveniences it causes, and I hope you guys can forgive me and will still be with me when I return.
> 
> As always, comments are highly appreciated.


	5. Sending Messages

Rin stepped outside of the salmon pink limousine and into the bright sunlight shining down upon True Cross Academy. Stupid Yukio had ignored him the entire ride there, and Rin didn't know what was more unnerving, being ignored, or being confronted about what had happened. _Shitty moley four-eyes, making me worry like this_ , the raven thought. Deep down, though, he doesn't blame him. He never could. He just wishes his younger twin brother would just say _something_. When he had been told to pack everything by Mephisto, he wasn't confronted by the bespectacled teen once, which worried and relieved him at the same time. What was he supposed to say to him when Yukio finally asked him what happened that night? Did he know about this side of the half-demon? He doesn't think so, because _surely_ his brother would've told him.

Later, that day, before this "Cram School" he had to attend for exorcist training, he went to his abandoned dorm. He chose a dorm room at random on the second floor, and dropped all his belongings on the ground. The teenager contemplated on what he should do for the next half hour while waiting for his class to start. He considered unpacking, but quickly realized he was too out of it right now to do anything. Anything, except, well, what he normally does when he feels like this. He sat up and began digging through boxes, looking for the textbook that held his own little stress reliever. When he found it, he laid down on his dusty bunk, and dived right into making a clean slash on his wrist. He tried thinking of everything that was stressing him out; to the half-demon, it felt like he was cutting at his problems rather than himself when he did this. He laughed indifferently, and began his mental conquest. _Well, we can start with how I'm a fucking demon_. Cut. _The old man was killed by fucking Satan, which is my fault, by the way_. Cut. _My own little brother doesn't know any of this, but he's probably more than fucking aware that the old fart dying is my fault, hence why he won't even speak to me_. Cut. Rin thought this was it, but there was still something bothering him in the back of his mind. _Oh. Right. My fucking soulmate. God, I feel pretty sorry for whoever was damned to me for the rest of their lives. I'm sorry you got a fucking demon for your life partner. Maybe you can find someone else? Can you exchange a soulmate for another?_ Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

About now, the raven was beginning to feel a tad bit dizzy, and better, albeit just barely, so he put the razor back in its hidden place. He grabbed his books and began packing for class. There was no harm in getting there a little early.

 -

The next day, Ryuji was able to walk, so his mother and father sent him packing for True Cross Academy. "'Your best chance of finding them is at school!' 'Don't give up your scholarship for this silly mission! You know you won't be able to find them out there!' 'I refuse to have my son wandering everywhere on earth when he could be somewhere I know he will be the whole time!' Don't these crazy people know how much I need to find them?! They could be anywhere in the world, and I'm being sent to school," Ryuji grumbled unhappily. _You know their brother is going to TCA as well, that can help_ , a little optimistic voice in the back of his head whispered.

The bicolored haired teen picked his head up a bit at that reassuring thought. Yeah, his soulmate's brother was going to he going to the same school as him, which narrowed out about half the students he had to search through; unless their brother is actually trans into a girl and they just refuse to accept that their brother is actually a sister, all the girls can be scratched off the list. Right. God, was he in some deep shit.

-

It was thirty minutes before class started, and Ryuji was restless in his room, trying to figure out how to find out which boys attending TCA had siblings. Would the headmaster be willing to give that information if he knew the circumstances? Probably not, adults are stubborn fucks like that. He leaned back in his chair, letting out an exasperated sigh, when he saw red again. Literally, as he felt a sting on his wrist, and saw the blood again. Oh god, no. Please, not again. Let this just be an odd coincidence. He knew it was useless to wish for such things, but he did it anyway. He still remembered all the pain from yesterday. The poor kid, wherever he was, was attacked by Satan, and his father died defending him. There were some things that seemed weird to him, but it could be because he missed some of it all, what with passing out and all. Suguro could deal with the cuts, but it was always the thoughts that stung the worse. Naturally, the thoughts were what came next. _Well, we can start with how I'm a fucking demon_. Another red line was drawn out with experienced precision. _The old man was killed by fucking Satan, which is my fault, by the way_. Oh, God, it wasn't their fault. Another cut anyways. _My own little brother doesn't know any of this, but he's probably more than fucking aware that the old fart dying is my fault, hence why he won't even speak to me_. Their… their brother didn't know? Oh, God, this is so much worse than he thought. He watched as another crimson strand was carved into his arm. _My fucking soulmate. God, I feel pretty sorry for whoever was damned to me for the rest of their lives. I'm sorry you got a fucking demon for your life partner. Maybe you can find someone else? Can you exchange a soulmate for another?_ Oh, no. Oh, please, for the love of God, no. They… they were aware that the bond had formed. Yet, they still thought they were alone. They thought he didn't want them, or care. No. Ryuji couldn't do this. He had to try to send them a message. Something. Anything.

Desperate for this to work, he thought as painfully as he could, aching for these words to reach them. _Stop. I will find you. I care for you. Help me find you. Please! Please…_

-

Rin was halfway to the Cram School classroom. He was grateful for the long sleeves of his uniform; he didn't need his reputation to be 'the emo cutter' or anything like that. He was about to open the door, when he heard a voice, and dropped everything. He was too shocked to even move. _Stop. I will find you. I care for you. Help me find you. Please! Please…_

Rin rolled all the possibilities around in his head; clearly, this person had t be his soulmate, and they knew what he was doing to himself. He could offer up some information, because like _hell_ he didn't want some kind of comfort. But, what will happen once they know the truth about him? Will they push him away? Will they accept him? The raven closed his eyes. Soulmates mean love, and love means you take a leap of fate, right? Well, a leap of fate Rin is going to take. _I go to True Cross Academy in Japan. I have a younger twin brother, and it's both of our first years here. I'm a male, I have blue eyes and black hair, and I need you. Please find me_.

The half-demon gathered up his dropped items and stepped into the classroom, his heart filled with something else rather than dread. For the first time in a long time, his heart was filled with hope.

-

To say Ryuji Suguro was surprised to receive a response would be an understatement. And, just, well, the answer he got! Filled with new hope, Ryuji jumped out of his chair in ecstasy, and even picked up Shima and Konekomura, spinning them around.

Shima laughed, before asking the question on both boys' minds. "Woah, there, Bon? What's got you so happy?"

Ryuji let out a laugh, the first the other two had heard from him in days. "He's here! He's actually here! He and his brother both! They're here, and they're our year! He's here, and I can find him!"

Konekomura was the first to process what was just given to them. "He?"

Bon nodded furiously. "Yes, he. I told him I'm looking for him and to help me out, because, well, this happened again today," he briefly held up his bandaged arm, "and this is what he told me. Are you ready? 'I go to True Cross Academy in Japan. I have a younger twin brother, and it's both of our first years here. I'm a male, I have blue eyes and black hair, and I need you. Please find me.' That is word for word. He's here! He's here! He's finally here…" The bicolored haired teen hadn't even noticed, but he had begun crying in happiness.

The rosette had been laughing and crying with him, when he noticed the time. "Hey, Bon, I hate to ruin the good mood, but class will start in ten minutes, we should probably start going." Ryuji wiped away the tears while nodding his head. He was finally going to find him.

Thinking about it, he decided to send the male another message. _I go to TCA and male, as well. I'm looking. I promise you, I'm looking, so don't give up. Don't you dare give up anytime soon._

The whole walk to class, all he could do was look for a black haired, blue eyed teenage boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I decided to not go on hiatus, partially because everything is getting better, partially because I'm on winter break! 
> 
> The reaction from the last chapter is amazing, and I'm so glad so many of you liked it!! Hopefully I can elicit this amazing feedback throughout the whole story! Chapter 6 will be up in a week or two, depending on the length of it. I'll see the lot of you then.
> 
> Hasta la later, my memeful dudes!
> 
> Sidenote for anyone in the V:LD fandom. I'm thinking of starting a Klance fanfiction. Let me know how y'all would feel about that.


	6. Fighting For Hope

Rin's joyful mood was cut short immediately after walking into the classroom. Don't misinterpret this, he was still pretty happy; who wouldn't be, when they just found out their soulmate attends the same school? God, he just wanted to meet him already. Alas, good moods can't stay good forever, unfortunately. A few minutes after sitting at the front and center table, three guys walked in. The shortest one was bald, had red glasses, and seemed to try to shrink into himself. The next tallest one had short, pink hair, brown eyes, and a lazy smile. He also kind of looked like the most outgoing of the bunch. The last one was the tallest. He was built really muscular, had a lot of piercings, and amber eyes, but the most prominent feature was his hair. It was naturally brown, but straight down the middle of the long locks, he had dyed it blonde. The tallest one looked at him and scowled at him when he saw his large grin. Remembering his old tough-guy facade, he put on his own frown and lifted his chin a bit. To add onto that whole scene, he also just found out his younger brother was actually his teacher! After having a conversation during a dangerous hobgoblin invasion like they were just having tea or something, he found out Yukio knew every damn thing about his demonic life he hadn't even known about until yesterday! The damn shitty four eyes certainly had some nerve hiding all of this for so long.

 _No, no, don't blame him for your problems. He… I'm sure he was just doing it to protect me? Right? That's… that's why he didn't shoot me. Because he loves me. He wants me to be safe. Yeah, that's it. He has 'tough love,' not openly mushy, smushy love. He's still my brother, and he loves me_. He knew this was merely wishful thinking, but can you blame the poor boy? Everything he knew was being ripped from his hands and melded into something new. And… and… well, the raven didn't like it. Not one bit. Yukio seemed to have gotten over whatever was putting him against his older brother, but, at the same time, the half-demon knew it wasn't as simple as that. He knew that there were still plenty of grudges against him; he was the one who gave the younger his temptaint, killed their father, and essentially ruined his life, after all. He knew they probably won't be able to work past all of their problems. He had to hope, though. Really, how else is he supposed to make it through this? _My soulmate. He'll help me_ , Rin mused.

But what if he didn't, though? What if he realized just how horrible the half-demon is? _I'll be alone. For good, this time. There's no way anyone could love a demon like me._

  
_-_

Today quickly went from a day to be celebrated to a day to be salted and burned. While on the way to the Cram School, Ryuji had failed to see a single male to fit the admittedly vague description. When he finally got there and opened the door, he thought that maybe, maybe, the gods were smiling down upon them, because smack in the middle front of the classroom sat a boy that took "blue eyes, black hair" to a new level. His Raven hair was so dark, when light fell upon it, it seemed to shine blue instead. His eyes… oh, god, his eyes. They were beautiful. His eyes were like… the ocean you can see before it dips off into the vast abyss, the clear blue that comes just before the sun starts to set and the sky is overtaken by color. They were the blue that the sky turns as lighting strikes. Calling his eyes just "blue" would be a great insult. Ryuji _really_ thought he found his soulmate. He quickly shot that idea down and cursed the heavens when he saw a huge, goofy smile stretched across the small, pale boy's face, lighting up those glorious eyes. Not even thirty minutes ago, his soulmate had been in such a depressing state, cutting up his arms, believing the world was against him. There was no way this seemingly happy-go-lucky boy could be him. Just seeing such a sincere smile made Ryuji angry; how could anyone be cheerful when he couldn't find his other half and his soulmate was so depressed and in pain? It just wasn't fair! So, naturally, the amber-eyed teen sent a very threatening scowl his way. That kid, Rin Okumura, as he had learned, was really pushing it today, though. The son of a bitch disrupted the class to the point where everyone but he and the teacher, presumably related, considering the shared last name, had to leave the room. Once the class reentered, they found it a wreck, then learned that the raven had managed to summon all the hobgoblins, and then the duo had to kill them all.

Putting the metaphorical cherry of his problems on top, though, was what he got from his soulmate after class. He seemed to have gotten in a fight with his brother, or something, because he seemed to be trying to comfort himself, but it wasn't working. _But what if he didn't, though? What if he realized just how horrible the I am? I'll be alone. For good, this time. There's no way anyone could love a demon like me_. Wait, what? No, not again. He can't be thinking that Ryuji doesn't care again! He cares! He will care no matter what! He's his, and nothing will ever change that. He had to find him. He's said this a million times, but he'd say it a million more, because it's true. He can't imagine losing him. Not now, not ever.

-

Rin sat in his bed, contemplating the past two days, and whether or not he'd need a little relief.

The first day, he'd gotten into a fight with his brother that nearly killed him, met a major asshole, and he'd also found out that he was sharing the old boys' dormitory with his younger twin. However, he learned his soulmate was here, and looking for him, his brother didn't kill him and actually somewhat forgave him, and his brother was staying in a different room than him. Then again, his soulmate didn't seem to be any closer to finding him than before, his brother was still hiding something, and he was also probably avoiding as much contact with the raven as possible.

Yesterday, he was almost responsible for the death of a blonde girl his age, got into another fight with Yukio, and watched aforementioned girl make up with her mother unlike he was able to do with his father. He also became friends with said pretty, blonde girl, saved her, made up with the younger twin, and helped prevent another family share his own fate. To die with those words as the last thing imprinted on one's mind is.… tragic. It's a regret that one person would have forever, just as Rin will. Was the girl really his friend, though? After all, the first thing said to him was, "You're a demon!" He hadn't even _said_ anything yet!

The half-demon grabbed his toy, and held it in the palm of his hand. Silver, a little brown on the edge from dried blood, and small. But it was enough. He was about to grab it, but then he remembered. _I go to TCA and male, as well. I'm looking. I promise you, I'm looking, so don't give up. Don't you dare give up anytime soon_. He had to be strong, he couldn't keep doing this. This was also hurting his soulmate, too. No need to be even more of a disappointment to him. That's right, he was also a huge disappointment. To his father, his brother, his soulmate. Just one big problem. The raven clenched his fist, forgetting about the sharp object residing and cutting in his smooth palm. What the hell is he supposed to do? Why is this all so complicated?

-

Ryuji was doing the homework for Demon Pharmaceuticals class when he felt the now-familiar stinging sensation. There was something off about it, though. He lifted his wrist to see if he could pinpoint it, but when he looked, there was nothing there but past scars. The pain was still there, though, but now he was able to figure out where. His amber eyes moved up, until they finally rested on his palm, where a single, short line of blood started to trickle down. What he felt with the cut wasn't normal, though. Normally, he got a sense of despair, self-loathing, and pain. This time, all he felt was confusion. The bicolored haired teen's eyes widened in shock. His soulmate… part of him was trying to fight it. A piece of him still doubted Ryuji, and it still stung, but it couldn't be helped. What really mattered right now was that part of him was hoping that he would come, and trying to refrain from hurting himself. This cut on his palm wasn't intentional. It was pure accident. Maybe, just _maybe_ , this will work out in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, my dudes! Sorry it's coming out so late, I've been at D.C. all day with my family. No matter how many times I go to the Smithsonian museums, they'll always be fun.
> 
> I'm going to try something out for this chapter! For this chapter only, and until I update, any questions asked will be answered. There will be exceptions, like if they are too plot revealing, or I'm not comfortable answering them. Otherwise, free game! This is too clear up any confusion that y'all might have gotten from the story so far. Any FAQs will be posted in my beginning notes next chapter. You all have two weeks!
> 
> Hasta la later, my memeful dudes, send in those questions.


	7. The Tragic Explanation of My Discontinuation of This Fanfiction

Hey guys, so if you haven't read the tags yet, you might want to. 

And now queue the flood of angry/upset/understanding-but-not-really comments. 

I really hate to do this to you guys, especially after seeing how much everyone here has looked forward to the continuation, but do to my lack of motivation and unfortunate events taking place in my life, it is in the readers and my own best interest that I do not attempt to continue this story. It it is NOT because of you guys, and it is not because of the fandom or anything like that. I guess the best explanation would be that I had sort of grown out of this. I am not trying to say it's childish or that it doesn't mean anything, because to some people, this could be the thing that keeps them going. 

Let me start with, this fandom, ship, and story idea had never been my own. I had always shared it with my best friend, mi luz de mi vida, my Newspaper. We got into a fight of sorts less than a year ago where we did not speak to each other for almost four months. We are, fortunately, talking again and still very close, but in that time apart, we grew to be better versions of ourselves, and with that our personalities had changed. That was about when the initial diconnect with the story began. 

My life has just been a whole shitstorm of drama since then which I am not going to delve into because the 498621 characters I had left after typing how many characters I had left are not enough to cover it all. Just acknowledge that shit happened, and that it did not help my growing distance from this story.

Time and time again I told myself I was going to finish this, I would start writing and I would get caught up in my whirlwind of excitement for this all over again, and time and time again I failed. The latest being tonight, at 11:25 PM with a cherry tootsie roll pop sticking out of my mouth, trying to ignore the gross sticky bandage wrap they give you at the hospitals when they stick you with what feels like twenty needles. Oh yeah, I'm dying, by the way, and not at the normal pace. The doctors still don't know what's wrong with me, other than they think they found something on my ovary. Considering I'm not showing signs of an ovarian cyst, my money's on cancer. Anyways, the point is, I am finally accepting that I cannot, in fact finish this story.

However, I know how much this story meant to some of you, and I've seen how many of you had commented on wanting to be a beta, so I'm about to up the offer.

Who wants to take over Story Behind These Scars?

If you want to, you know the deal, drop down in the comments and let me know, and I'll do a little bit of snooping (maybe) and decide if I trust you enough to attempt to continue my child. Hey, I may not be able to finish this, but I still love it dearly. 

If you are someone who is just interested in my writing regardless of what the story is, I AM still writing my fanfiction for Voltron, focused on Klance and following the plot of Anastasia. It hasn't updated in a while because school started and then I started dying. If you're reading that and waiting for an update, sorry. I promise I'm working on that new chapter. I swear. So yeah I'm writing that, or if you have a prompt you want me to write, just drop it in the comments of this or Meant To Be, or swing by my tumblr @langstlover. 

This fanfiction will not be deleted from my account until someone else has taken it up and posted all the current chapters.

Thanks for hanging in my dudes, and I'm sorry that I couldn't find it in myself to finish it for you. I hope y'all don't hate me.

Edit: User IsaacFantumn will be taking up this story! They are on hiatus until winter break, but after that, they will be posting these chapters and continuing this story. Again, I'm sorry for having to do this to y'all, but I hope y'all will stick with them to see the end of the story!

Until next time,

Lance (:3

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, okay. So, this is my first story on ao3, and I'm pretty excited. I am technically writing chapter 10, as I'm posting this, so hopefully we will be able to avoid obnoxious hiatuses. Here's the dealio, though. I've kinda been stuck on chapter 10, since, like, the past 2 months? I'm going to try to hold off on posting chapter 2 until I finish it. Comments and criticism fuel my writing. I sound so needy, but it's a fact. My friend proved it by not reading chapter 3 for a month and I couldn't write chapter 4 until she did because I thought I was stuck but I really wasn't.
> 
> I'm uploading all of this from my phone, so I don't know if the italics and other stuff actually worked, so please let me know if I need to go back and edit that. 
> 
> EDIT: Someone should definitely tell me how you're supposed to put italics back up because I still haven't figured that out.
> 
> Also, anything related to this fiction can be sent to me through my tumblr fandoms-fuck-you-up or my Instagram @gay_for_klance  
> Use the tags #StoriesBehindTheseScars and #SBTS as well!!
> 
> Chapter 2 will be posted on November 17!
> 
> Thanks for reading, until next time!


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